A musing of Mr Keai

Life is a struggle. I do not think it will get any easier. The Lord taught His disciples how to pray. Jesus gives us tough lessons.

Life is meant to be challenging. We do not have problems, we only have continual challenges. But sometimes our challenges feel like hardships. I wish it were not so.

Now to cope with life, you must have patience. Practice yoga or tai chi, or mindfulness or deep breathing or gentle stretches. Even though I practice these, I do not feel any better.

We must try to forgive, even just a little. Therefore, try to view enemies from the perspective of someone else. Other people’s battles are irrelevant to those not suffering them. Try to take on the larger perspective. Try not to get upset.

To be bible believing, we must forgive, as Jesus said ‘forgive, so your heavenly father may in turn forgive you.’ Jesus also said ‘love your enemies.’ So we must try to apply as much of the bible to our lives. Our sins are massive compared to the faults others have inflicted on us.

Try to find some purpose to your life. Write. Draw. Do yoga. Meditate. Whatever feels good. Jesus will try to show us mercy, but only if we obey Him. Jesus said ‘If you love me, keep my commandments.’ Jesus also said ‘Be ye perfect, as your Father in heaven is perfect.’ Jesus interceded for His enemies on the cross, saying ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’



I must admit, I’ve met a lot of pretentious Christians in my time, both protestant and Orthodox.

I must admit, I wish they’d stop it.

Everybody eventually gets punished by God in according to the degree of their sins. Shakira might go to jail for tax evasion. Such a shame.

Everybody gets punished by God, whether in this life, or the next.

God bless you all, that you may be found righteous at the great white throne judgement!


I’m feeling more grouchy than usual. Mum says it is due to depression. I thought it was a symptom of schizophrenia, such as being more touchy.

I must of been a terrible person in a previous lifetime to deserve this kind of sickness. I hope reincarnation is not true, and I’m just being punished for schoolyard bullying that I performed in primary school.

I am trying to be a good person. But sometimes good people get taken advantage of. So grouchiness is a defence mechanism.

Nobody has true humility. I have the closest thing I’ve ever seen in a human being to true humility. And people use it as an excuse to walk all over me, rather than saying ‘he truly is a man of God!’


When God said to St Peter to forgive 77 times 7 he meant an unlimited amount. Our forgiveness should be limitless.

God forgives everybody, the souls in hell, and the demons. But they’d rather not be forgiven. That is precisely why God’s love burns them. For those who love God, His light is like light, and warmth. For those who hate God, and close their eyes against Him, His love is like an all-consuming fire.

The demons can’t understand why God still loves them. And it is precisely this that enrages them. They wish to destroy us, because we are the epitome of God’s creation. I don’t know too much of the theology surrounding why demons want to destroy us, so I will not comment further.

Please forgive me for consuming resources. Please forgive me for having an opinion. Please forgive me for not keeping myself to myself.

More thoughts on humility

Now, if you are rotting at home on disability benefits, it may be important to have some sense of humility to endure social rejection. I myself, most of all, am enduring social rejection, because of my schizophrenia. Of course, even though I am humble beyond all, I still get the occasional slur or insult from others.

Just because a person is humble, doesn’t mean God will glorify them in this life. It means my reward will be paid in full in the next. Life is a nightmare. People are more evil than they think. But still, I endure dishonour heartily.

The world needs a great reset. Every person is punished for his or her sins, and each saint is rewarded for his or her humility and other virtues.

God bless my enemies. They make me wonder why God is keeping me alive, rather than praising God with the angels.

Cancelled my plan

I chose to cancel my paid website, as I wasn’t generating any money on advertising.

Nobody really cared about my blog much anyway, and I never had nothing much to say.

Humility? If I am humble, people look at me as though I’m really sick. My friends ignore the fact I’m humble, and question whether I see things as they really are.

I will take my message of humility elsewhere. From the lake of fire, you will all remember my words ‘as Satan was bound and cast out of heaven due to his pride, so to of entered paradise, YOU SHOULD OF HAD HUMILITY.’

Humility is not self-deprecation. It’s not what the priests of the Orthodox church in my city have. It means where you endure every dishonour from others and from illness as coming from the hand of God, to lead you to repentance.

As I said in my thoughts, Australia should stop stuffing up, but the majority of people, whether in the church or not, have blasphemed against the Holy Ghost. I am all alone, I fear for this generation once I get taken to heaven. Why do I still have to be here? LORD HAVE MERCY!

5 days before Christmas

I am 29 years old and on a high dose of anti-psychotic medication. I try to keep my faith alive in Christ, but although my fear of hell is not lessening, I surely am driven to despair.

I judge my neighbor. I bear hatred and resentment against most who have ever offended me. I do not do the works of righteousness, even much less than many people. I pray God will deliver me.

God has shown me in life, that even after death, we still exist. He has created all humans for eternity, to populate His Kingdom, regardless of whether we like it or not.

Life is continual. The state we are in when we die is the state we will be in in eternity. So, if we hate our relative at the point of death, then we will burn forever in our own hatreds.

God has given each of us enough time to repent, to read the bible, to do the works fitting of righteousness. While some are like me, and despair, we are given such trials to make us stronger.

Thank you to all my friends and family who have supported me throughout the years. They know who they are.

Pray for me. God bless you.