I really hope nobody takes offense at this blog

This is my recent mild contribution to the internet.

I try to do some qi gong, hoping it would be inspiration to friends on my social media accounts.

I try to have positive self-esteem. But I get hypersensitive when I am scolded or criticised harshly.

I am still a little hollow on the inside, even though I take many vitamins.

It is about 12am midnight. I have insomnia, even though I’ve taken extra meds.

Goodnight all.

Tai Chi 2 days before my depot

I looked on the news about a model from Sweden who was tired of men hitting on her at the gym. It said it was because she was ‘too hot.’ I guess I have a long way to go in the attractiveness department, even though I have delusions that I am the perfect guy.

Life teaches me humility, as I often am not shown respect because of the severity of my many disabilities. So I am basically a doormat. I’m not good at setting boundaries.

God bless you all.

My most recent exercise video

This is me here, while I’m terribly gluttonous. Well, not really. Just the medication slows down metabolic rate.

I remember when I was fit. I was doing tai chi and tae kwon do back in 2005. But according to the instructor’s standard, I wasn’t doing a very good job.

But I tried for at least 9 months in 2005, until the instructor’s put downs got too much for me.

I am glad I got limited flexibility in the legs. I am not happy that most people do not respect me in real. Especially when it comes to my eating habits.

But I do try to do a minimum amount of exercise every day. It does help my body get in shape.

Qi Gong Again

I probably already put this video up. Nobody seems to watch it on my YouTube channel. It only has about 22 views to it. Sometimes I do wish it were more popular, but then I’d get a lot of trolling.

On a positive note, I weighed about 119.4kg on the scales today. This was due to me eating Truplenish instead of dinner last evening. I also went out yesterday on the bus to my favourite shopping mall. God bless me.

Maybe there is life after death. The death of the soul, with all its positive attributes, that is.

Some Qi Gong

Even though I do Qi Gong everyday, I still can not avoid getting sick, such as with a sore throat.

I miss my 60kg body. I miss the ways things used to be. That is the price to pay for mental illness.

Now, I’m just a shattered shell. I am a husk of what I used to be.

Difficulty exercising, anyone?

I find doing 10 minutes of this exercise difficult. I can do 6 minutes of this kind of exercise before I get tired of standing in the one place for a couple of minutes. I enjoy doing very light exercise to some David and Diane Arkenstone music on YouTube.

I have done in the past 1 hour and 25 minutes of standing up light exercise within the past 2 years on a 3 shot cup of coffee, but that was a one-off. Due to my depression and my sedative side-effects of my medication, I can not do exercise for very long. I guess I do have motivation, but I do experience limited pain in my legs from making sure I don’t fall over. Guess it must be an anxiety condition.

I’m turning 32 on September 27th 2021, but I exercise like an old man. If I tried shadow boxing at moderate intensity, I could only do it for 30 seconds, perhaps less. I can’t compete with people who do regular exercise or young people who don’t take medication. God bless everybody fitter and stronger than me.