Tag: pain

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A humble narcissism?

This icon is either of Jesus without His traditional cross surrounding His head, or some other Saint, prostrate in humility before God. Perhaps it is Jesus saying ‘Please, Father, take this cup from me, but not as I will, but as You will.’

You are correct. Due to other posts on my blog, I am not humble. I sometimes lash out. Sometimes I have bad days. I’m not as enlightened as mindfulness gurus such as Sadguru and Eckhart Tolle.

But I try to admire my efforts. My friend said to me recently ‘I am going towards 40, and life has not turned out the way I wanted it to.’ I replied to him, ‘Just because you are single, doesn’t mean you are of no value. Think of your good deeds, how precious they are to God. Our life is more than the money in our bank account, or the beauty of our wives, but it is about how much good we did to others. This is what we will be evaluated on at the last day.’

I currently have a sore throat, so I am quite grumpy. I’m trying to cope with it. Because I believe, if we endure sickness in life, we will not be spiritually sick in the next.

Let us suffer whatever comes from God with all humility, so we can cry out at the judgement throne ‘Lord! have mercy!’

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Sometimes it is good to just vent

Yes, I do complain a lot about my life on this blog. Possibly because I have nothing to say.

I talk about humility, but nobody wants to buy humility anymore, or see a real example of it.

So yeah, my blog is pretty boring.

I miss the days when I used to have something to do everyday, like before I took anti-psychotic medication. I miss the times when I was actually fit and could do a lot of things. My current life is very insulting to my ego and pride, as I just hang around other people with mental illness.

If I could choose to be mentally ill or not, I’d choose to be well, because I would of learnt humility from my fasting and goodness of character. I do not think mental illness could of accelerated my development, instead it would of hindered it by slowing me down.

Most of the meds make you pack on weight. Fasting is critical to a moral lifestyle. As Jesus said ‘this demon cometh not out except by prayer and fasting.’ So fasting is very critical for us to push out the sins from our heart. And it is near impossible to fast while taking meds that cause weight gain. They just make you eat and eat and eat.

I feel that when I go to the GP next Wednesday, I will weigh at least 121kg. I hope I don’t have a heart attack.