Tag: orthodox

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I am despised

At the Greek Church, nobody talks to me. They treat me like an outsider. My godfather doesn’t want to go out with me, saying he is too busy. The priest doesn’t answer my texts, as he says he is too busy. There are 168 hours in a week, nobody is too busy to make time at least once a week. He is just lazy, and chooses not to see me.

At the Russian Church, nobody talks to me either, except my ex and her husband. So it is quite dismal there too. My ex had a fight with her other ex in the church courtyard, where he swore at her, during Lent. I was shocked. But apparently the Orthodox are limitless in their evil…

At the Chinese Church, I was socially rejected as well. Nobody wanted to talk to me, except a few that wanted to socialise with me beforehand, at another service for the same church. But when people hear that I am unemployed, they lose interest in me.

But God be praised, I am like Jesus, in the way He was despised by mortals too. So I share in His cross and rejection by the people expected to love Him. God be praised.

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First day at something by IakovosKriegor

Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

My first day taking communion at the Greek Church near my house was unremarkable. I did not prepare worthily for it. You have to fast from 2pm till communion at about 7pm at the church. This includes dry fasting, which I am not capable of.

But why should the church talk about dry fasting? Their members are hypocritical. The priest never responds to my text messages. My godfather never replies to my text messages or answering machine messages. Whenever somebody at the church wants you to stop talking, they say ‘you go and have a good day.’ I feel insulted by that.

Communion either has lost its mystical properties, or nobody at the church takes communion worthily.

I sure wish I had the courage to rebuke them, but usually, people don’t have enough respect to me to listen to my correction, or apply it to their lives.

Well, there isn’t any point in going to the Orthodox churches in Brisbane, then.

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Ortho-prelesti

I think I’ve seen that word somewhere before, on an Orthodox site that was written in English. It was English translations of Russian documents, allegedly written by high-profile members of the Orthodox Church. Some were called Saints. Others were called bishops.

Ortho-prelesti I think means ‘Orthodox spiritual delusion.’ I think it just meant what Orthodox need to avoid in their interactions with the world. God bless them.

I am baptised in a Greek Orthodox church, but I am not a communicating member. Communicating in this context means a person who receives Holy Communion. I went to the local Greek church today. The voices in my head kept me entertained, even though I looked rather insane to people at the church.

I do not have many clips where I do sparring. I have eased up on the sparring recently. I’d rather just let the other person beat me up, rather than have it on my conscience. I did many evil things as a child, that need atonement. I’m waiting for God to punish me. Punish me oh God, in this life, and not in the next!

I look up philosophy videos and law of attraction videos on YouTube. I did not speak to my godfather at the church today. I try to watch something light on YouTube rather than the fire and brimstone rhetoric of the Orthodox church.

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My former diary posts

I’m not sure whether I will do anymore diary entries. They should be something I should write a book about. Not that anybody would read it. Nobody wants to hear the struggles of an ailing schizophrenic. They want to hear great testimonies of people who have won in the game of life.

Well, I certainly am not winning in life. I don’t even go to university. I do something everyday, but at least 33% of my time is unoccupied. So I don’t fill in time well.

I find that even though I think of myself as humble, I really am not. But maybe compared to some people, I am humble. There are degrees of perfection, and there are degrees of sin. There are degrees of strength of faith too.

Concerning faith; James 2:17: faith without works is dead. In the context of how many miracles the apostles were performing, James did not mean that an empty, intellectual agreement with the fact that Jesus rose from the dead; which modern protestants term as ‘faith’; is at any way going to save anybody. He meant a faith that performs miracles, a faith that moves mountains, a faith that isn’t empty, and a faith that has a lot of works of faith is the faith that saves us from eternal damnation.

So listen here, protestants. James Chapter 2 defeats the heresy of justification by faith alone. So if you have a mere intellectual faith that Jesus lived and rose from the dead, it will not save you. So get off your big butt and do some good deeds!

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Give rest, oh God

Russian Orthodox Crosses by Keith Evans is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

As the priest of the Russian Orthodox Church chanted at the Panahida of my dead grandma ‘Give rest, oh God, to thy servant who has fallen asleep,’ so we too remember the fall of our loved ones.

At a typical Orthodox cemetery, we will have an Orthodox Cross at each gravesite. The first horizontal bar is where the sign ‘King of the Jews’ was written in Hebrew, Greek and Latin. The second horizontal bar is where His hands were nailed. The third bar is where His feet were nailed.

In the Orthodox church, we don’t believe in Cremation, as we believe in the resurrection of the soul and the body. I don’t know much about the specifics. Sometimes I want to go back to the protestant churches, but when I wake up in the morning, God renews my energy and I feel ok to continue walking an Orthodox life.

I must admit, I joined the Orthodox church for a reason. I also should stay in the Orthodox church so I can be buried alongside my mother’s relatives. My mom is Russian Orthodox.

As much as I am tempted to meet Koreans at the Korean Presbyterian Church, I’d prefer to stay Orthodox, as the Korean women would just insult me, due to my disabilities. If I wanted to meet Asian women, I can go to the Russian Orthodox Churches in my city.

Give rest, oh saviour God, to thy servants who have fallen asleep.

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If we remember our sins, God will forget them

If we remember our sins, God will forget them. Thus said the wise and holy St John Chrysostom. If you watch this video, you will see a glimpse into the Orthodox mindset.

Although I am a sinner, and unworthy of being in the least way a messenger of truth, I still admire and strongly advocate the Nicodemus Hagiorite and Gregory Decapolite YouTube channels.

I have spoken at time to the founder of these sites by email. He tells me not to despair. He is quite a kind and soft spoken guy. His name is Constantine Zalalas. He lives to teach others about Orthodoxy.

God bless us all.

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My life so far 27/12/20

Wow, Covid-19 has really shocked the world this year. I just hope all who come across my blog have been safe this year, protected by God from disease, illness, sudden death, foreign invasion, and anything that may frighten and perplex the human soul.

I didn’t catch the virus this year. Here in Queensland, the government has done an exemplary job of protecting its citizens from Covid-19. My friends in Brisbane were all protected from it, too.

Nonetheless, I have some things to say to all people in Brisbane. We must all repent. Jesus said in the Gospels ‘Do you think that the Galileans whom the tower of Siloam fell on were worse sinners than they? No, I tell you, unless you all repent, you will all perish.’ Stop fornicating, because it destroys the communion between each person’s souls. Stop committing adultery, God declared marriage holy, and the wedding bed undefiled.

Do not get angry at others, let others have their way. Because life is a nightmare, we should not impose our wills upon anybody. God didn’t force us to love Him by coercion, He gave us the freedom to walk away from Him. But how blessed will we be, if we love Him with all our heart! God gave us free will, so by using our free will properly, we would inherit a greater reward in heaven than the oceans, earth, trees, and animals who obey God by default.

God has taught me much during my life. I would not have my mental illness removed or my experiences in life erased for all the treasure on earth, because without mental illness, I would not have even begun to cultivate humility. As St John Climacus says in the Ladder of Divine Ascent, ‘Without humility, nobody shall enter the bridal chamber.’ That bridal chamber is the Kingdom of heaven.

So let us all think the least of ourselves, not quarrelling with others over senseless matters. Let us be humble, then shall the light of Christ shine in others. And even if many reject the light, the humble shall still be at peace.

I shall leave you with a monastic saying of the desert fathers, for all Christians struggling with temptation in Brisbane: ‘Even if we never enter the promised land, it is best that we leave our bones to lie in the desert, then return to slavery in Egypt.’

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Take it easy

Greetings everybody. My topic is ‘taking it easy’. People seem to always be on the go, go, go. I live in the slow lane. But the thing about always being on the go, is that you can frequently get burnt out.

I have been sick for about a week with a cold. I thank God everyday for this cold, as it leads me towards perfect humility. As an Orthodox ascetic once said ‘As satan was bound and cast out from heaven due to his pride, so to re-enter paradise, we must have humility.’ So I thank God each and every day for the bad things that happen to me. It makes me realise my weakness, and depend more and more on God.

The Lord says to St Paul in one of his epistles ‘My grace is sufficient for you. In your weakness, my strength is made manifest.’ This is one of the verses the Pentecostals would NOT underline in their bible. The miracles of the pentecostal and charismatic churches are false and demonic, don’t trust them.

One of the things that delights the Lord is ‘sickness borne with patience, as this brings great joy to the Lord in our affliction’. Our patience proves whether we are worthy of receiving paradise, when the end of our life comes.

Anyway, getting back on topic, take things one day at a time. It’s no good if you burn yourself out and end up committing suicide. Stay alive! Because Jesus Christ has a great reward in place for you after your faith has been proven true through the furnace of tribulation.

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What a person needs to do

Welcome to my blog. I hope that my website is not too disturbing.

I will most likely upgrade to premium, in the hopes I can make a few cents from wordpress. I believe it works by people clicking on advertising associated with my site?

I’m not an impressive blogger. My blog posts are really short. But I do this largely to increase my ability to write, so hopefully I can write a book and make a few dollars.

My first book would be about ethics. Personally, I am an Orthodox Christian, but I support asian religions, such as taoism and buddhism. But before my conversion to Orthodoxy, I was a protestant.

Life can be a nightmare for most of us, so I understand if people want to pleasure themselves with innocent things like junkfood, coffee, chocolate, vanity, and warm showers. I sympathise with people who need more intense kicks, such as porn, street drugs, risky sex, alcohol, cigarettes and gambling, as in this life, it feels as though God has left society.

My advice to mentally ill people like me is: practice mindfulness, limit the amount of risky pleasures you engage in, try eating one healthy thing a day, get enough sleep, take one day at a time, God appreciates your efforts. Life is beautiful on the correct dose of medications.

My advice to husbands is: love and cherish your wives. Look after them. I wouldn’t throw out my pets, so why should we forsake the wife of our youth?

Life is difficult, God seems to be unable to understand mental illness, but there is hope, maybe you can write a book, and teach me how to make money lol.

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5 days before Christmas

I am 29 years old and on a high dose of anti-psychotic medication. I try to keep my faith alive in Christ, but although my fear of hell is not lessening, I surely am driven to despair.

I judge my neighbor. I bear hatred and resentment against most who have ever offended me. I do not do the works of righteousness, even much less than many people. I pray God will deliver me.

God has shown me in life, that even after death, we still exist. He has created all humans for eternity, to populate His Kingdom, regardless of whether we like it or not.

Life is continual. The state we are in when we die is the state we will be in in eternity. So, if we hate our relative at the point of death, then we will burn forever in our own hatreds.

God has given each of us enough time to repent, to read the bible, to do the works fitting of righteousness. While some are like me, and despair, we are given such trials to make us stronger.

Thank you to all my friends and family who have supported me throughout the years. They know who they are.

Pray for me. God bless you.