I feel good tonight

I feel like leaping over the moon. I had a lot of ladies smile at me in the shopping mall today. Although I only talked to one of them, I felt bliss. Like, there is no separation between me and others. Like we are all one.

I can sort of fit law of attraction with my Christian beliefs. I love to love my neighbour as myself. I love to be patient. I love to be kind to others. Maybe I’m reaping the rewards of my kindness to others.

I often pray for others. I almost feel like I’m in heaven. But I assume this is only temporary. I am not a monastic.

I bless all of you.


The morning after my depot

The depot wasn’t too painful. My right arm doesn’t hurt too much. It was the deltoid that I got my depot injected into.

I’m glad I get to go see a medical professional every month. He has a lot of wisdom, particularly because he is a Russian Orthodox Christian.

When I stepped on the scales at the doctor’s office, I weighed 121kg. He said on my most recent blood test that everything was normal, except my cholesterol, which was a bit high. He recommended exercise and healthy eating, ie vegetables.

I am feeling great! I have been praying together with my friends. I hope my prayers make a difference in the world.

Things are not as bad as they could be. Maybe I have a guardian angel watching over me.


The reason we suffer from addictions is because we can not bear the present moment. We can not bear to sit with our pain.

But life is beautiful, regardless of whether you see it or not. There is joy to being alive. I am beginning to find hidden joy to my life. I find hidden joy in turning my friends online away from suicide. I find joy in doing good for others.

There is beauty in the world, even though we often don’t see it. There is beauty in meditating in one’s bedroom. There is beauty to be found in lying down and having a rest. There is beauty in sleep.

We should all practice gratitude meditations, to remember, that despite so much violence in the world, there is so much good. I remember a person on the bus pointed out to me that my bag had fallen off the seat. I was so grateful to him! If he hadn’t of told me, I wouldn’t of known that my bag had become an obstruction.

So please, to all my readers, stay alive! Life is beautiful, even if you or I don’t believe it. Think of the good things. Try to sit with your pain. Don’t run away from it. Journey into the present moment.

As the buddha once said ‘The root of all suffering is craving,’ as in ‘craving to satisfy an addiction.’ Once you are desireless, you can have peace. If that is not true, please leave your thoughts in the comments section. Just my opinion.