Does anyone care?

I woke up feeling pretty good today. I went to art therapy. It was nice, but a little dull. I had nothing much to say. Nowadays, I try to keep myself to myself.

I was watching a video on YouTube by 60 minutes about Hillsong church. They apparently had church leaders who had committed rape while in office. The video concerned the statements of the victims.

This kind of video makes me almost guilty to be a male. A friend of mine has also said that men have assaulted her. I grieve for this turn of events. If I was female, could I be safe as well?

I don’t know why people commit crimes. Isn’t the fear of punishment enough to deter you from committing the crime? Apparently not, in some cases.

God bless the indo-pacific region

I pray there is no war in the Indo-pacific region. I know some of the countries squabble amongst each other, but there should be no reason for a war. I pray China may co-operate with neighbouring powers to achieve equitable outcomes for all.

I just hope my friends in China, Philippines and Australia have a good life, both here and hereafter. I can’t imagine my country surviving a war with any power. We are not as strong as our military likes to think. China may ruthlessly crush us one day, unless I pray daily for world peace.

Life is a nightmare. I hope the ruling elite may not destroy this world for the sake of their egos. I hope WW3 is not coming. I hope the nukes may not be set off. I pray the Lord Jesus Christ uses His creative energies to move the leaders of all nations to compassion.

I can barely function as a human being. What if my Disability Pension gets cut? What if my house is destroyed? What if my parents die of sickness and old age? I will die in the streets. I pray that my humility has protected my future.

I pray my friends may always have a source of income. I pray Australia doesn’t become a war-ravaged country like Ukraine.

I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt of trying to fish someone out of hell. I was too late! The unknown person had already gone to the depths of hell, I could not reach in to find him!

I entered a red portal to go to hell. I wasn’t in the lava, I was on a bridge over the lava. The person wasn’t on the bridge, he already had been dragged under. Then my commander went to hell. He sent me to hell too, as he revealed he too, was a Lord of hell. As if my problems weren’t big enough. But I eventually fell into the lava. I could not swim down, the pain was excruciating. My prayers weren’t strong.

Lord, please don’t kill us all! I know we have crucified Your Son over and over in our hearts, but please! Hold out Your mercy to the world, so a few may repent!

Life is a nightmare

In all our tragedies of life, we still do not repent.

I wish I could appear to all the sinful souls, and tell them of this place of torment, for they would fear to come here.

There is no repentance in hell.

There is no repentance after death.

I had a bad dream last night, about colonising other planets, and getting infected with some disease, that might of been too horrible to imagine, but the dream didn’t show me getting sick.

I just hope humanity can become slightly more Godly in the future.

Oh! The humanity!

When I look at the news, there is not even the slightest trace of humility in either the media or the subjects of the media. Oh! What satanic pride! How far has man fallen! Nobody can wake up mankind from its spiritual slumber! Nobody can convince him to repent and amend his ways! This is the worm which dies not, and the fire that is never quenched!

What is the point of life without humility? Humility makes the soul ride upon the wings and lifts the courageous soul up boldly towards God! But nobody wants to be humble. Pride is worshipped, satanic pride! As Satan was bound and cast out from heaven due to his pride, so to re-enter paradise, we must have humility.

Nobody except me apologizes to his inferior, they all think highly of themselves. Whether Christian or not, all have the satanic energy of pride. Nobody regards me, even though I’m more humble than all! I have all the virtues, since I have humility! And people still scorn me!

I would advise humanity to repent and come off the wide road that leads to perdition, but it will not! Even in hell, people won’t repent. They gnash their teeth in anger at the triune God, and whatever for? They could of made themselves righteous in this life, to be spared torment in the next!

Repent, before the gate of mercy closes on you.

Why go to hell?

Many people are outright narcissistic, I have had my fair share of people who have treated me with contempt. Most of my interactions with others have not been positive and have, in a way, traumatised me. But if somebody hates me without a cause, certainly they shall go to hell.

Why go to hell? All you have to do is repent, and have a deep respect for each and every person. Also, stand up for those who can’t protect themselves. Don’t say ‘it’s his fault he is under the mental health act, it’s his fault he is schizophrenic.’ Adopting such an attitude will make it impossible for you to come out of hell.

It’s a sad thing, really. Nobody takes the admonitions of Christ seriously. They laugh, saying ‘I will live the life I want, I will eat, drink, and be merry.’ But God says ‘You fool! This day your life will be required of you! Who will get to eat of your vineyard now?’ ‘This day’ means in God’s eternal time, so it is when the person dies. They could help me to their vineyard by standing up for me and being my friend.

But I suppose, in today’s modern generations, with old and young, with Christian and non-Christian, hell is not taken seriously. But believe me, hell is only one death away….

A dream about hell

Last night, I had a dream about what hell is like. In the dream, it depicted hell as falling down a hole, getting bones crushed as the souls hit rocks on the way down, and at the bottom was lava, and the souls there would cry out to God ‘Lord, have mercy!’ and when they did, they’d be taken back to the top of the hole, only to fall down it again and again unto infinitum.

I think I had other dreams during the night too, but this is the one I remember. Hell was not dark, it was bright, just getting bones crushed and skin set on fire. Maybe the real hell is a lot worse, according to Orthodox literature.

I probably had this dream because, as much as I think myself righteous, I really am not, so I set my eternity ablaze with torment for myself. Oh well, I don’t think there is anything I can do.

I think, even if I spent several eternities in hell, my repentance would not be sincere. I think a lot of souls would still blame God for the trials they had in life and in hell, and if they were let out, they’d be like demons, rather than repentant souls.

My best sparring video

I used to spar. Then I ran out of energy. This was taken over a year ago. Maybe I had more energy in my 20s.

Why fight? The Daoists say ‘be like water,’ in the context of being flexible. Bruce Lee says ‘be like water,’ in the context of violence and getting your own way. I no longer believe in Bruce Lee’s way of thinking.

I pray for Bruce Lee’s soul everyday. He was a violent man, so he is likely still suffering in hell. Poor guy, I think rejecting Jesus’s offer of eternal life is the ultimate in foolishness.

Chemical lobotomies

If I didn’t take my medication, I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep at night.

2017 was a taxing year during the winter, when I had my worst psychosis. I believed I was going to jail, I believed people were following me, due to me hearing voices coming from nearby houses. I heard things like ‘he’s weird’ or ‘he’s acting really weird.’ They would usually accuse me, so I would often confess to others that I was a Christian terrorist, and then ask ‘what else do you want me to confess?’ like everything was a court tribunal.

I often asked my mom ‘what are you not telling me?’ due to my paranoia. I was waiting for the end. I prayed in the mental hospital ‘Lord, do not let me live to see the end.’ I felt like I was going to be killed by gangsters, who would kill everybody dear to me. I imagined there were gangsters in one of the hospitals I was in, who were on a mission to kill me.

But all these delusions stopped once I had the 3 rounds of shock therapy. I felt much better after that. But I have experienced a profound lack of respect from others inside the churches, whether Protestant or Orthodox. That’s why I don’t go to protestant churches anymore. They use a heat scanner on me to check for infection, but they don’t scan anybody else in the congregation.

Yeah. I think a lot of people need fixing up by the police services, even correcting them in the congregation. Pity the jails are full. Society is entitled to rejecting whoever it wants. Society, and particularly churches, are not inclusive.

Let us stand fast, with fear!

Although I have taken the vaccine, I still want to live a life according to Christ’s precepts, to get me into paradise, or to take away punishments in hell. Life is troublesome, and people in society are feeling burnt out, due to overwork or lockdowns. Life is a nightmare for some suffering from severe mental health issues. I try to pray for them.

We must all pray for the salvation of the whole race of humanity. God is merciful, God can make things right all at once, even through a couple of thousand righteous people praying. We must think to ourselves ‘maybe God will show us mercy, and take away this plague from under our midst.’ God can save whosoever He wishes, too. So never think you are beyond salvation.

Our battle is in our mind, in our thoughts, in our imagination. Satan tends to make us fantasise about things, and we suffer the wounds of his vainglory. So concentrate on the breath, for say 1-5 seconds, or as long as you can, so you may not give an ear to his fantasies. Satan once imagined himself as equal to God, and from there he exited paradise.

Try to focus on the breath, maybe say a few prayers, praying in your own words. Always hope that God can take you out of your current reality and place you in a better situation and circumstance. God is the God of healing, the God of salvation. By Christ’s death on the cross, He reconciled the whole world to Himself, and from His pain, He sympathises with each and every one of our weaknesses.

If deep breathing doesn’t work, distract yourself. Do housework, take out the garbage, do the laundry, read a book. You have got a lot to live for. Christ has called you out of darkness into His army to do battle for Him, against your sinful inclinations, against the demons, and against your former self. Know you are getting stronger everyday.

Try to continue battling against your sinful addictions, knowing that each success brings you closer to righteousness. God blesses the righteous, and covers His servants with a shield. The battle for your soul is not over until God takes your soul to heaven. Let us stand well, let us stand in awe, and fear of God! Let us attend!

Nobody cares

I feel so cold and alone. This feels like the cold of Tartarus. Hell is both too hot and too cold at the same time.

I’d like to apologize to all my friends whom I’ve offended with my various ungrateful and evil words I’ve said to them. I hope you find it within your heart to forgive me, as I have autism and schizoaffective disorder.

Life is a nightmare. Even in the midst of comfort, we feel lonely and without God. I just hope God gives rest to all those of my family and friends who have fallen asleep – the sleep of death.

I can’t even speak other languages properly. The blogs I write are at a year 7 English standard. I tried to write Chinese and Japanese but they are at a grade 1 equivalent standard.

I give a shout out to all my qq friends who read my blog. I uninstalled qq from my tablet. Now I can’t find qq international or tencent qq in the play store. Guess Scott Morrison really hates Chinese enterprises.

Forgive me, it is all my fault. But then again, nobody cares. I will be left all alone, in the end.