Domestic Violence

I was asked by a qq friend to speak on domestic violence. I know nothing about this subject. If it were me, I’d prefer to get walked all over, as if I get shot by police, then I am in hell. What good was my life then?

I don’t know why so many people are not even afraid of hell. Why are so many people not scared of eternal torment? Why don’t people believe in hell? So many religions speak about hell in great depth.

If I die, then it is all over. I might as well live a long time, hoping God will give me the grace to repent and redeem myself, before I am cast into hell. Just my thoughts.


15/6/22 The temperature is perfect

This night is warmer than other nights that I’ve experienced during this winter. My parents didn’t turn on the air conditioner for heating. I sure don’t miss summer, even though summer is inevitable.

I remember playing Eschalon book 2 during last winter. It was so great to walk through the hellice region on the game during winter, it really set the tone for how cold things are in the hellice region on the game. Hellice as in ‘hell-ice.’

I always imagined hell to be too hot, but it can simultaneously be too hot and too cold at the same time. It would definitely be pretty uncomfortable. That’s why I give to charity, as I believe almsgiving atones for sins.

I didn’t give alms to the druggy at the shopping mall who was asking for money. I thought he would buy drugs. So I didn’t extend alms to him. I better give some money to charity. God bless other people.

Central heating

My parents turned on the air conditioner. For heating! I mean, isn’t an air conditioner meant to cool the place down during the heat of summer? I always have my air conditioner on for cooling during the hot months, which last from about October to April in my city. I never turn on the air conditioner in my bedroom for heating during winter. I just put on more blankets.

But yeah, I am pretty cringe. I try to talk, when I’m not full of stuff that people want to know about. Death and eternal life? Nah, not for me. Eternity of torment? Who cares? That’s what people of the world say.

If people took the admonitions of the Lord Jesus Christ seriously, imagine how many people would be afraid of hell today! How many people would live life in fear of God! But everybody treats hell as fallacies and paper lanterns, until they die, of course. Then the pain and torment starts…

It’s just a state of mind

I pray mercy for all my family, friends and enemies. I pray especially for those I have not perfectly forgiven. I pray they have peace and joy, both here and in the next life.

I don’t understand how some people enjoy life, while I am semi-miserable, and require constant medicating to be able to cope with life.

Maybe some happy people can not understand how some people can have schizophrenia.

When you are born, you become eternal. Death is not the end. We exist for eternity. We all have a beginning, yet we live forever, in a place of joy, or in a place of pain. I pray nobody goes to hell.

5 days before Christmas

I am 29 years old and on a high dose of anti-psychotic medication. I try to keep my faith alive in Christ, but although my fear of hell is not lessening, I surely am driven to despair.

I judge my neighbor. I bear hatred and resentment against most who have ever offended me. I do not do the works of righteousness, even much less than many people. I pray God will deliver me.

God has shown me in life, that even after death, we still exist. He has created all humans for eternity, to populate His Kingdom, regardless of whether we like it or not.

Life is continual. The state we are in when we die is the state we will be in in eternity. So, if we hate our relative at the point of death, then we will burn forever in our own hatreds.

God has given each of us enough time to repent, to read the bible, to do the works fitting of righteousness. While some are like me, and despair, we are given such trials to make us stronger.

Thank you to all my friends and family who have supported me throughout the years. They know who they are.

Pray for me. God bless you.

I hate this place

In my mind, this reality is a prison. My house is a prison. My life is a prison. My eternity is going to be a prison. I rue the day I was created.

God created every one of us to exist eternally, but I am a rebellious angel, and I have no desire to exist in God’s presence. I truly am in a miserable place. I once discoursed with my minister that if I were the first man created in the garden of eden, I wouldn’t even require the serpent’s provocation to rebel against God. I would be shaping an ax from the bark of the tree of life and hacking and slashing the vegetation and the animals in the garden with me.

I hate this place. This zoo, this prison, this reality or whatever you want to call it. It’s the smell.


God indeed is life, and He deigns all of us to exist eternally, but not everybody wants to exist eternally. Not every angel or human wants to encounter the reality of God, which will become apparent after we die.

I’ve seen so much suffering in this life, both of myself and of other people around me. God already forgives everybody, but will we be able to forgive ourselves?

Death is inevitable. Encountering the spiritual realities of the afterlife is inevitable. Are we ready?