My small pleasures

As much as I want to attain enlightenment, I do tend to waste my time. Some of my pleasures include computer gaming, YouTube, WordPress, qi gong, gentle stretches, piano playing, and going to the library to read books I purchased from the St Vincent de Paul society.

The computer games I play include Farm Dream; Village Harvest, War Planet Online Global Conquest, Civilisation 4 mods, Borderlands 1 and 2, Starcraft 2, Empire Earth 1, Unreal Tournament 2004, Civilisation 5, Civilisation 3, and Eschalon 1 and 2.

So yeah, I have quite a lot of entertainment, but honestly; I never find peace. I do practice mindfulness once a day on YouTube, it gives me a little respite. Basically I have a foggy head usually from medication and psychosis that never goes away. The psychosis is managed, but the effects of it are still there, apart from the lack of function associated with psychosis.

I am fairly disabled, but I would say I’m moderate functioning. I am not intellectually impaired, but I’m not a full time worker either. High functioning people are the people who have jobs, drive cars, and get married. Low functioning are the autistics that rock their heads back and forth, with inability to communicate properly. As you see here, I can communicate fairly well.

I just wish I had more discipline in my life. I am not a very disciplined person. I do things when I feel like doing them. Depends on how tired I am on the day.