I pray for peace

The pandemic has caused many to die from infection. But these things have happened before. I believe there was a Spanish flu ravaging the country in the early 20th century, correct me if I’m wrong.

I was reading today in one of the gospels that there will be ‘pestilences’ as a sign before the coming of the son of man. What He meant is that plagues, such as covid, will happen before the son of God comes in His glory with the angels.

Medicine has advanced so much. But my grandma said ‘we had typhoid and cholera back in China, why are we so scared of a simple flu?’ My grandma grew up in China, before being kicked out by the communists. To answer her question, I just say, society has gotten a lot weaker since the beginning of the communist era in China. Some of our great grandparents and grandparents fought in world wars and survived the great depression, while we are trying the kill ourselves just because ‘life doesn’t go our way.’

I must admit, I am much weaker than other people of the past. I’m weaker than my parents and many of my own generation. I sit at home, vegetating on a pension! And I’m only 32 years old!

I tried to be a cadet in 2005, but it broke me, and gave me mental illness! I just don’t have the strength to live my life, no matter what!

Even holidays would do me no good, as I would worry that I am not worthy of the holiday, as I get a permanent holiday anyway through not working.

I worry about money. Because in Proverbs, Solomon says ‘money maketh wings, and flyeth away.’ So I don’t have either the capacity to make my own money, nor enough money to live on. If I wasn’t living with my parents, I’d be in a very bad state.

Diary entries 2/4/21 to 6/4/21

I haven’t been writing diary entries for a while. I suppose it is a mild update on my life.

2/4/21

I believe my heart rate is too fast because I have too much anxiety. God bless my enemies. Today is good Friday for Catholicism. God bless those who insult me.

3/4/21

Man, I seem to be forgetting what year it is. This is the year after the apocalypse of COVID. A simple flu, costing the world economy billions of dollars. And I have no way of helping the Australian Government get back on its feet!

Centrelink has done quite a bit for me, after the support of my parents. I can’t even live my life worthily for the God who died for me, Jesus Christ! I regret every consuming titanic amounts of resources. Maybe the government will torture and put me away. Then God will condemn me. He is just to do so. Amen.

6/4/21

Well, it is getting cooler. My cat Dante hopped on my bed while I was writing this diary entry. He must feel cold. Hope he feels as blessed by my presence as I do by his.

My support worker will come over. I wonder what we will do today.