Be yourself

Don’t just think, be.

Just kidding. I don’t know what I’m talking about.

But I learnt from the buddha today, to be free from anger, you have to drop expectations. You shouldn’t expect people to act the way you want them to. The way I applied this is, I don’t expect to be in a relationship. I don’t expect people to always respect me. I don’t expect myself to amount to much in life. It’s ok!

I also learnt, that the way to be most attractive, is to be your authentic self, as in, be yourself, regardless if you remain forever alone because of it. Say you want a relationship, but act as you don’t need one. God bless.

Hope this helps, my fellow bloggers.

Christians

‘Christians’ is a book title by the journalist Greg Sheridan. He has written other books that are in the library. I picked up this book from the religious section in the library. I enjoy reading it.

I try to keep to myself nowadays. I don’t do any more evangelism, because I’m the biggest hypocrite. And I believe, some good comes of other belief systems, like the mindfulness that sprung forth from Buddhist teaching.

I wish my life had more meaning. But, I guess life is what you make it.

The Piano

This is me playing the piano very poorly. The circuits in my brain have been corroded by overmedicating. I sincerely wish that nobody would have to take anti-psychotics long term. Anti-depressants may be ok for a few years, but then a person should get back on their feet and live their life. I haven’t taken drugs, alcohol or cigarettes, but yet I caught schizoaffective disorder at 16 years old. Something must of gone very wrong with my thinking.

Schizoaffective disorder means schizophrenia with a mood component. Or otherwise known as half schizophrenia, half bipolar mood disorder. The best of both worlds. So it is a nightmare to have, and sometimes, I try to loosen up, with disastrous consequences. Basically, when you are in the ‘schizo’ classification of disorders, you can not be yourself around anybody, unless you want to make a fool of yourself or be reported to the police. You always got to think before you speak. It is a huge cross.

Oh well, maybe reincarnation is true and I will get a better rebirth in the next life. But I’m not certain about Buddhist theology. I believe in this life, then heaven or hell.