Beef patty (tofu) sparring

I think when I was 60kg at 15 years old, I would still spar pretty badly. I’m the fat one in this video, weighing maybe 120kg at the time, due to weight gain side-effects of the anti-psychotic medication. Fortunately, I’m losing weight at about half a kilogram a month.

Well, as you can see, I’m no tough guy. When me and my friend were the victim of a road rage incident, we just hid in our car. I am not able to confront anybody, due to my extreme cowardice. I am not a police officer.

My sparring technique is pretty bad, slow blocks, inflexible kicks, low energy. It is due to my disabilities, such as autism, and probably other brain damage from ongoing psychosis.

Slap, slap.

Maybe I won’t be a pastor

Ummm, yeah, so I have this disease, which one moment I’m too happy, the next moment I’m too sad. Instead of schizophrenia, I have, no, not bipolar mood disorder, but, yes! you guessed right the 2nd time! schizoaffective disorder! So it’s like psychotic bipolar mood disorder. Or whatever.

I think I won’t be a pastor. Or a priest. Because I don’t want to make my own converts. I feel uncomfortable talking to strangers in the street. I feel like Jesus really let me down by giving me mental illness, so I’m not over the moon happy for my life in Jesus Christ.

I did do an article where I said about going to Mapleton QCCC. But I was manic back then, due to not being on medication, yet. So, if I didn’t have a mood disorder, life would mostly be very boring.

I thought about becoming a martial arts grandmaster, but I’m too lazy to actually attend classes. Unless I’m manic. I thought about becoming a fake martial artist, but I don’t have enough of an imagination to make up a martial art.

Oh well, guess I’ll stay a disability support pensioner for the foreseeable future.

Diary entries 09/03/21 to 14/03/21

These are more diary entries of my relatively uneventful life. Honestly, I have no humility, otherwise I would accept abuse at work! Since I am afraid of bullying at work, so I don’t attempt to look for work, therefore I have no humility. But I encourage everybody to love their enemies, regardless of whether they are family, friends, or strangers.

09/03/21

My support worker took me to the University of Sunshine Coast Southbank Campus. It was a beautiful place with impressive architecture. It reminded me of the times I went to Southbank TAFE.

12/03/21

I went to a barbeque with my English conversation group today. I was compelled to cook the barbeque. I probably won’t go to another barbeque, as they don’t understand I lack the skills to cook a barbeque. One of my friends called me a woman.

Then afterwards, my parents took me to some caryards. Why do my parents want to buy another car? It’s like a kind of sickness. It takes a lot of humility on my part.

I saw my mom’s friend today at her house, and I got to see her cat. Then we went to coffee club at a shopping centre. It was nice. It makes me wish I had more things to do everyday.

14/03/21

The weather should be getting cooler soon. It is getting tough through the first month of autumn, as the weather is still like summer heat. I’d like at least 5 months of this year to be cool.

I didn’t go to church, but I did do some housework. My parents are at my cousin’s house teaching her kids the piano.

Diary Entries 26/02/21 to 07/03/21

I didn’t write diary entries for every day of the year, so some dates are missing. I was very lazy at making diary entries in my journal.

26/02/21

I went to English conversation group on Friday and sold 1 book. I also watched a video on YouTube about ways to raise your vibration. This includes not hanging out with low vibe people, eating healthily, dancing, and practising gratitude.

02/03/21

When I wrote down the date for this diary entry, I was trying to figure out whether it was 2020 or 2021. I guess I started this diary writing at my support worker’s suggestion as a guide to myself.

I had art therapy today, where I did grouting. It was quite hard, and I did not do it well. I did social tennis in the evening, where I got very tired.

04/03/21

Well, today was a beautiful day. I can imagine myself to be like a master by the time I’m old with lots of years of meditation under my belt.

I managed to enjoy the start of fall in Australia. The lowering of temperature is nice. Still, I miss the camps I went on back in 2005, when the world was cooler, when I was younger, when I was thinner…

07/03/21

There were disgruntled kids on the bus today. What I wouldn’t give for a badass attitude. What I wouldn’t give for a few hundred thousand dollars in my bank account. What I wouldn’t give to be a tough guy who commands respect from all. So much for all the discipline I got from cadets…

Too much of me

When I emerged from the mental institute, my mom said I could only talk about 3 things: girls, japanese language, and religion. Even though I’ve significantly improved since then, the topics I can converse about have become much narrower. I can only talk about 1 topic: myself.

Well, I’m the most interesting man in the universe, so why wouldn’t I want to talk about myself? I talk to myself all the time and have the most interesting conversations, no; I have the BEST conversations. Why would I want to talk about anything else? Why would anyone else want to talk about anything apart from me?

Yeah, I think the next thing I want to do in my career is to become a mad scientist, who builds a factory that uses the earth to produce clones of me, so essentially a whole planetfull of ME; me, me, me, me, me. Great idea huh? Who needs anybody else on the planet?

Ok, so the topic I intended to write for this blog post is something else apart from me. So here goes…

BORING! NEVERMIND WHAT I WAS GONNA TALK ABOUT! ME TIME!

Yep. No need to talk about someone else. Or something else. Better start making that cloning factory. I need more of me.