My spirituality

I probably will try not to waste anybody’s time, most importantly not my own. It means I will be patient, but not idle the time away. As many people can do a lot better than me in reality, especially vocationally, I will try not to inconvenience anybody.

My spirituality is humility. I choose to accept insults, rather than get angry with them. Why stand up to them? I am weak and frail.

I try to accept the memories that have plagued my mind everyday. I did a bit of introspection today. I was such a socially maladjusted person when I was young. That’s why I needed a lot of medication.

I tried to be tough when I’m actually not. I tried to be brave. I tried to get people to convert to Christianity, with no success. Now I’m a used up old man. God, have mercy on me.


A rant

I remember my school principal described my behaviour in beating a fellow student in 2003 as ‘acting like idiots.’ I could say a lot of people ‘act like idiots.’ Psychiatrists who violate the rights of their patients are acting like idiots. Priests who look down on the mentally ill are acting like idiots.

People have got to stop stuffing up and repent. Or else God will wipe out this planet. By making the communists act like idiots and we nuke the crap out of each other. Fancy that.

I realise nobody much cares for my blog. Oh well. Doesn’t matter.

I hope those who follow this blog have more positive vibes than I’m having today…

God bless

Wow, today is a boring day. I wish my life would soon end.

I wonder how I’m going to get through today. I haven’t even had my morning cup of coffee.

It is the last day of 2022. Soon it will be 2023. I wonder what the new year holds in store for the world.

Putin is still acting like an idiot. Same with China and North Korea. I pray Jesus will teach them humility.

I don’t want to live through 2023 if there will be a world war. I am afraid of death. Why? Because God scorns my prayers.

I can’t bear life day by day. It is beginning to get really boring.

The libraries are closed today. I got up late today. I wish life would be easier.

God bless us all.

Today’s inspiration

You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?

It’s like asian men: small pipi.

Just kidding. I don’t know how to answer it correctly. I suppose it gives me something to do. Though only a few people care about my opinions.

Well, I started off things irreverently because it is like when my support worker asks me a boring rhetorical question: ‘what you doing this weekend?’ Then, without thinking, I reply ‘having sex,’ which is ironic because it is something I’ve never done, and most likely never will do. BECAUSE I’M ASIAN OOOOHHHHHH!

Yes, I’m slightly racist.

I hope wordpress doesn’t take down my site LOL.

My blog 6/12/22

Today I have had my blog for a few years. But I must tell some things about what I plan for the next couple of months, until I find more inspiration to write.

I think I will throw out my diary. It is just too difficult to copy diary writings from my notebook onto my computer. I have too many books in the home.

Maybe I will write them into a notebook, to be written into my memoirs.

But yeah, I have a lack of inspiration. I also apologize if any of my blog posts offended anybody.

God bless you all, and hopefully 2023 will be better!

I hope I didn’t offend anybody

I’m glad I get some traffic to my site. I am glad to all the people who subscribe to my blog.

I heard on the news about trolling in the UK. The trolling in the UK started on twitter and evolved into crimes in real life. I was so scared! I deserved something like that to happen to me, for all the good of my opinions.

I deserve a lot worse than what I get. I am glad God keeps me safe.

I am glad I live in a safe environment, and the memories of the bitter past are becoming more and more distant.

I try not to have much of an opinion. I just hope people notice the good stuff I’ve written rather than the garbage I’ve put on my blog.

God bless you all.

Another dismal day

If you look for Mr Ke ai on YouTube, you’ll be able to find me. I only have about 1 500 views for all my videos on YouTube. I don’t edit my videos. I am too disabled to learn many new things, such as video editing in YouTube studio. I mostly have videos of me sparring my friend and doing light exercise, such as tai chi and gentle stretching.

But today was mostly dismal, until I managed to buy an Ice Break at 5:30pm. I felt really good after that! Such a fantastic drug! It is coffee milk, with lots of sugar. I most likely will go to bed around 2am.

But overall, life is pretty boring, I have very little structure surrounding my day. I am glad medication helps me sleep. Even though two of the nurses who give me injections of Invega Sustenna have both said the needle is too big, I’m still willing to take the 150mg depot, just so I can sleep well at night. It also lessens my libido, too.

Overall, life is pretty boring. I have no topic. I will play some games. Maybe I will do clothes washing tomorrow. Bye.

Beef patty (tofu) sparring

I think when I was 60kg at 15 years old, I would still spar pretty badly. I’m the fat one in this video, weighing maybe 120kg at the time, due to weight gain side-effects of the anti-psychotic medication. Fortunately, I’m losing weight at about half a kilogram a month.

Well, as you can see, I’m no tough guy. When me and my friend were the victim of a road rage incident, we just hid in our car. I am not able to confront anybody, due to my extreme cowardice. I am not a police officer.

My sparring technique is pretty bad, slow blocks, inflexible kicks, low energy. It is due to my disabilities, such as autism, and probably other brain damage from ongoing psychosis.

Slap, slap.

Maybe I won’t be a pastor

Ummm, yeah, so I have this disease, which one moment I’m too happy, the next moment I’m too sad. Instead of schizophrenia, I have, no, not bipolar mood disorder, but, yes! you guessed right the 2nd time! schizoaffective disorder! So it’s like psychotic bipolar mood disorder. Or whatever.

I think I won’t be a pastor. Or a priest. Because I don’t want to make my own converts. I feel uncomfortable talking to strangers in the street. I feel like Jesus really let me down by giving me mental illness, so I’m not over the moon happy for my life in Jesus Christ.

I did do an article where I said about going to Mapleton QCCC. But I was manic back then, due to not being on medication, yet. So, if I didn’t have a mood disorder, life would mostly be very boring.

I thought about becoming a martial arts grandmaster, but I’m too lazy to actually attend classes. Unless I’m manic. I thought about becoming a fake martial artist, but I don’t have enough of an imagination to make up a martial art.

Oh well, guess I’ll stay a disability support pensioner for the foreseeable future.

Diary entries 09/03/21 to 14/03/21

These are more diary entries of my relatively uneventful life. Honestly, I have no humility, otherwise I would accept abuse at work! Since I am afraid of bullying at work, so I don’t attempt to look for work, therefore I have no humility. But I encourage everybody to love their enemies, regardless of whether they are family, friends, or strangers.


My support worker took me to the University of Sunshine Coast Southbank Campus. It was a beautiful place with impressive architecture. It reminded me of the times I went to Southbank TAFE.


I went to a barbeque with my English conversation group today. I was compelled to cook the barbeque. I probably won’t go to another barbeque, as they don’t understand I lack the skills to cook a barbeque. One of my friends called me a woman.

Then afterwards, my parents took me to some caryards. Why do my parents want to buy another car? It’s like a kind of sickness. It takes a lot of humility on my part.

I saw my mom’s friend today at her house, and I got to see her cat. Then we went to coffee club at a shopping centre. It was nice. It makes me wish I had more things to do everyday.


The weather should be getting cooler soon. It is getting tough through the first month of autumn, as the weather is still like summer heat. I’d like at least 5 months of this year to be cool.

I didn’t go to church, but I did do some housework. My parents are at my cousin’s house teaching her kids the piano.