Hello to all who view my blog. This video, as well as the entire Gregory Decapolite YouTube channel, is the reason I personally would prefer not to take the Covid 19 vaccine, until the authorities start torturing me. I pray Christ will help me in that hour of torment!
I know several of my friends view my blog, so I wanted other people’s opinions on this channel. Is it reliable? Is it fake? The testimony of my conscience is that this channel is true, as when Christ will accuse me of all the sins I have done in my life, at the last judgement, I will reply ‘Yes, master, these accusations are just and true.’
I secretly don’t think I will get into heaven. My faith in Christ is very weak. I just wonder, if I had been more accepting of my mental illness, had I borne my mental illness in 2006 without attempting suicide, would I of been able to lead more people to Christ? Would I of prevented the end of the world through encouraging my brothers and sisters in the faith? I am deeply saddened by my sins.
I tried creating a stripe account to earn money from donations, but as I looked into it, it was more geared towards membership and premium content. I really regret monetizing my site, as I don’t earn any money from advertising.
I couldn’t even start a business. It’s easier to go up to strangers and ask for donations in the street than it is to earn money from advertising on WordPress. I tried getting advertising money on YouTube, but I need 1000 subscribers and 4000 hours worth of people viewing my content in a 1 year period.
Fancy that! The most profit I made apart from my pension is selling books to my friends.
If I were to make a blog about Orthodoxy, I’d make my disciples twice as mentally ill and suicidal as I am. I really regret trying to make it big on WordPress. My mind and ideas are faecal matter, anyway.
If anybody who reads this has any ideas on making money, in case Centrelink cuts my pension, I’d be grateful.
These are more of my boring musings. I still haven’t made any money from advertising on WordPress. Maybe I should set up that part of WordPress where I can accept donations, not that anybody would care.
Today I felt more despair than usual. This is probably because I put so little effort into living my life. As my former psychologist said ‘You have a very poor quality of life, James.’ Today was a lot more cooler than usual for a summer’s day. As soon as I think of that, I think of the song ‘summer rain.’
Wow. I’ve existed for 31 years. I feel old already. I wanted to try something new today. Instead of almsgiving, I will sell books. Wish me luck.
The vaccine is being rolled out. Soon it will be my turn to take my mandatory government vaccine. I hope the vaccine doesn’t produce genetically-modified people who will bow before the coming Anti-Christ, as the Old Calendar Zealots theorise.
I am kind of glad that I never joined the Australian Defence Force. Shame on those asking money for ADF veterans! With skills in the army, they can work in private security or the police force. A veteran has to remain with the ADF for 25 years before they can be considered a veteran. Fancy that! Where did all their money go from the 25 years of service they endured! I only got a lousy cadet encouragement award from my 7 months in cadets. Were it so easy….
God bless the Commonwealth of Australia, and to our premier for doing such a great job. I for one have a positive opinion of our government. I have no qualms with the Australian government, just I wish there was an option for schizophrenics apart from long term medicating and Assisted Treatment. I only care because I myself am a schizophrenic.
Under the Australian government, we are given numerous benefits. I get a Disability Pension due to me not being able to work due to my schizophrenia. We don’t have military checkpoints like in North Korea. And even during lockdown, I’m allowed to exercise in my local area. And also, there is an option for better health care, since I can afford to pay private health cover.
I just hope Australia continues to remain democratic, despite what the Old Calendarists of the Orthodox church stipulate.. They theorise that all the governments will bow to the reign of the Anti Christ in a few decades. I sure do not want to live to see that day!
So for now, the Commonwealth of Australia is not the Australian Soviet Socialist Republic. I guess in death, it won’t matter. The good I have done will count against my bad deeds in the fearsome judgement of Christ of my soul. God bless everybody in Brisbane.
I went to one of my conversation groups at a park in Brisbane. I got to talk a lot to a Korean friend at that group. My Taiwanese friend was also there.
I’ve temporarily forgotten all the bad things ever done to me by others, as though they never happened. Because, in the cosmic scheme of things, my life doesn’t matter. But where do I go, where I will be honoured and respected? I guess there is no place on Earth for me. This fact makes me greatly depressed.
I was dreaming last night about Hyperion robots from Borderlands 2. Then a terminator said to me in the dream ‘love is stronger than death.’ This is a verse from Songs of Solomon in the Bible. ‘Even if I make my bed in sheol, God is there,’ says the wise psalmist King David. These 2 verses made me cry.
I was at the local Greek Orthodox Church today in the morning to celebrate St John the Baptist. I forget what the precise name for the weekday service was called. Anyway, I enjoyed being there for the most part, except for when the thought entered my mind of the memory of being offended by some of the parishioners and the parish priest.
Everything was blissful and great until those thoughts arose. So I went away from the church feeling bitter and resentful. What could I of done instead? I will give some advice from mindfulness.
You can either A) replace the memory with a happy thought B) say ‘Lord Jesus Christ have mercy, hoping He will get rid of the troubling memory C) replace the memory with a reminder that I need to be humbled so as to cultivate humility, and thank the Lord Jesus Christ for their humiliation of me D) stop thinking altogether by focusing on the breath.
These things normally are excellent for the person without mental health issues, but the mentally ill person has to struggle a lot more with his thoughts than a normal person does. Hope this advice helps some people who stumble upon my blog!
This provides readers with an insight into the meanderings of a schizophrenic on medication.
I went to a Sikh temple with my support worker today. It was nice and interesting. The customs were interesting, just like the customs of the Orthodox Church. My dad got my new phone working for me, even though I thought it was broken. I guess it isn’t the end of the world.
My grandma kidnapped a neighbour’s cat today. Let’s hope she gives it back before she gets in trouble with the neighbours. I went and had my injection today. It was fairly nice. My dad fixed up my new phone. Optus is still transferring my old number to my new SIM.
Sigh. I felt energy go out of me when I went to the Sikh temple. But I never had the Holy Spirit anyway. This is nothing to be feared. Into Jesus’s hands I commend myself.
Today I am going to my psychiatrist. Boy am I pumped.
I came back from my psychiatrist. After that, my mum took me to Optus, to get my phone working. I have a working phone now!
I prayed unto Jesus today. I asked Him to have mercy on the human race, without blotting out humanity from the face of the Earth.
Sigh, eternity. As much as I cry out to God, I have very little faith in Him. I almost believe Him entirely separate from His creation. I hope to go to church on the weekend.
Thank you to all the people who viewed my blog. I hope it was not too boring.
It is a cold, winter’s night here. If you are from the northern hemisphere, then it would be summer now. But as I say, opposite hemispheres, opposite seasons, due to the tilt of the earth’s axis. During one part of the year, the northern hemisphere is closer to the sun, during another part of the year the southern hemisphere is closer to the sun.
I pray there will not be a world war between china and the US. I just hope world leaders can drop their egos and try to adopt a peaceful, humble approach to dealing with conflict. Although, I couldn’t run a country, but I pray that meekness and humility prevails, regardless of whether I personally have any real humility.
Life is a nightmare, and even more so for a mentally ill person. A lot of tears are shed all over the world by men, women and children everyday. I can’t imagine what it is like in war-ravaged countries, that are being supported by UNHCR. I would not have the same resilience as the refugees overseas do.
I personally suffer from a mental illness known as schizoaffective disorder. I have great difficulty making friends. I have only a small number of friends. I am not an influential person. I hope that the mentally ill in this country are taken care of and they endure with humility the scorn and ridicule of others.
God bless you all. I hope this blog is not too dreary. I pray for the world, and for the salvation of all men and women.
Fat! I am so extremely fat! Indeed, I do a little bit more exercise at night on this increased dose of medication, but it doesn’t offset the metabolic retardation side-effect of the increased dose. I think that after I finish this packet of extra medication, I won’t buy anymore for a while until my weight comes down. I’ll have to endure the voices in my head.
Today mum took me to Currumbin, just outside Brisbane near Gold Coast. At Currumbin lodge were my family and mom’s friends, and we told each other anecdotes and stories about things we know. I had a good time.
I had a good chat with my support worker about mindfulness. He said I have the power of a deity in me. But deities are usually too proud, and I’d have to learn to regulate my ego and rage.