This is a picture of the Holy Spirit, that beloved pigeon. I don’t have the Holy Spirit, or else I wouldn’t call Him a pigeon.
But there are other reasons why I don’t have the Holy Spirit. I am not grace-filled. I do not perform miracles. My prayers do not amount to anything. All my prayers for the healing of my friends go unanswered.
Our God is an all-consuming fire. Even in hell, His love predominates.
I sure wish the blessed pigeon would take me out of hell. Actually no, I like my disability, because I get free money in this country for being disabled. If God did heal me, I still wouldn’t know what to do with my life.
Even in hell, there is mercy. Even in hell, the pigeon still loves you.
It is getting to mid-autumn here in Brisbane. But we still have the air con on for cooling the house down.
I think it gets cold sometime in May. From October to March it is really hot and uncomfortable. It is especially bad for me, as my meds make me sensitive to heat extremes. And I am moderately obese, which adds to the insulation.
I have no wisdom or Godly advice for anybody. I haven’t even put up a new video of me exercising or doing push ups. Hope I can increase in physical activity.
This is a beautiful pic that I’ve already put on a post to my blog. It is from a computer game, which has been digitally remastered for the newer PCs. I think it is a beautiful pic, so I put it up a 2nd time.
I ran out of ideas, so I felt empty. But when I looked up ’emptiness’ on bing, it was something about existential nihilism, which is not how I feel. Well, I sort of feel it, but it comes and goes.
I like to think that the person in this picture is a city contemplative, rather than someone suffering depression and deep despair. There is lots to think about, if we only had more brain cells. Kidding!
But my blog isn’t outstanding. Maybe my blog is just devoid of content.
This is a game called Big Farm. I enjoy playing this game every so often. I am not too high a level, but I have got to the point where I know 92% of the game mechanics. It is about farming, not competing against other players.
This is Empire Earth. Here my computer opponent is trying to do a Donald Trump (building walls) until my tank came and shot up the villager. But the computer cheats in Random Map, so it can always rewall, until you exterminate every town centre and every villager. It gets unlimited resources.
So yeah, these are my games. God bless you. What games do you play, oh reader?
I used to listen to the song ‘when it all falls apart’ by the Veronicas when I was a patient at the Child Youth Mental Health Service in Brisbane, back in the old Mater Hospital, before it was renovated. This is back in 2007. It was a very lonely time. My mental health was slowly getting worse and worse.
Apparently the song lyrics in the chorus starts off as ‘everything is F***ed up, straight from the heart,’ but I thought the lyrics were ‘everything is left up, straight from the heart.’ What a surprise when I found the song to have offensive swearing in it! Oh well.
I miss those times, when I was better off not on medication. I do not like taking medication. But now I’m on depot injections. I really wish I didn’t need so much meds.
I am going into the General Practice in an hour’s time, to get my depot. Wish me luck, friends.
This is a picture of a game I used to play. Unreal Tournament Game of the Year Edition. This is a capture the flag map called ‘facing worlds.’
I have Unreal Tournament 2004, but I don’t play it often. I am not addicted to it. My younger cousin plays Fort Knight a lot. He is 16, but his dopamine system works apparently. Mine doesn’t. That’s why I can not sit for hours in front of a computer playing games.
This is in memorium of an old game. It is a mod for UT GOTY edition called Operation Na Pali.
I pulled both these images from google image search. I just do not bother to download these games and mods from their respective sites where they are available.
I miss how I enjoyed games. I miss how I used to be non-mentally ill. That’s a word now.