Today was a good Sunday. I thought I was going to get beaten by mum for not helping with the cooking, but mum reassured me and took me out to sushi. The sushi was nice! I paid for the sushi. Wasn’t too expensive.
I worry too much about life. I worry about what others may think of me. I can not get to sleep without anti-psychotics. It is a perilous cycle.
I wish I had achieved more in life. But I’m waiting for the end of the world. I am hoping I just get blown to oblivion by a nuclear bomb blast. But maybe God is merciful.
I’m waiting for the end. Or at least the end of my life. I’ve been consuming a lot of resources. And whatever for? Because I have to take meds which increase my appetite, which in turn increase the amount of money I spend on food.
I remember my school principal described my behaviour in beating a fellow student in 2003 as ‘acting like idiots.’ I could say a lot of people ‘act like idiots.’ Psychiatrists who violate the rights of their patients are acting like idiots. Priests who look down on the mentally ill are acting like idiots.
People have got to stop stuffing up and repent. Or else God will wipe out this planet. By making the communists act like idiots and we nuke the crap out of each other. Fancy that.
I realise nobody much cares for my blog. Oh well. Doesn’t matter.
I hope those who follow this blog have more positive vibes than I’m having today…
This is me doing 10 push ups. I am really struggling to do push ups. I weigh a lot.
I can not do a pull up on my current weight range. When I was 60kg and in grade 9 I could do about 8 pull ups, but only about 10 push ups. Now, push ups are easier than pull ups, because of my heavy weight.
I thank you all for following me. I thank you all for blessing me with your company.
The voices called me both a ‘vomiting hero’ and that I was ‘wasting everybody’s time.’ I heard the ‘vomiting hero’ voice from a clinician at a general practice, and the ‘wasting everybody’s time’ voice from a priest at a Greek church.
Thus, the demons, being voices, show me my weaknesses. They were essentially saying ‘You’re a glutton!’ and ‘stop bothering Christians at the Greek church!’ Even the demons are shocked by my sins.
Well, the more I stress out, the less I’ll eat. I suppose I can give up going to church. They weren’t nice to me at the church anyway.
Another voice said ‘he’s weird’ at one of the parks near my home. The demons must have a lot of reasons to accuse me.
Sometimes the demons speak to me. I see their malice. How they fell from heaven. How they want all of humanity to end up in hell, just to punish and torment them.
But according to some writings of the Orthodox Saints, the demons act as ‘God’s avenger.’ The demons, as well as people, can teach me a lot of humility! I should shut my mouth, and not contribute my opinion.
Usually, I do not believe in the end of the world. Even if the Orthodox version of eschatology were true, I’m sure there will always be people interested in Christianity who would be the salt of the earth. Just Christianity would take different forms.
At this moment, I do not believe that the world will end, not for a few million years or so. God loves His creation. Though I’m not a biblical expert.
I do believe in the end of the universe, though. Call it the big crunch, call it heat death, it doesn’t matter anyway. All of us would of found new universes to go to in a couple of billion years time. Maybe we would of been able to form new universes through black holes and singularity technology from the far future.
I think humanity will live. I think humanity will progress. Christianity may go extinct, but we will survive in this universe.