On solipsism

Solipsism is a complex belief I don’t know much about. But basically, I am sometimes a solipsist, because I believe that, as my inner reality is, so is my outer reality.

I believe, because I violated my vow of celibacy to God when I became mentally ill, I have been living in a form of hell. But to escape hell, I must endure every bad thing with all humility, thanking God for the trial.

I read about a monk and a nun in the Carmelite order who got married. I was so happy for them. I’d love to marry a nun. But I’m just plain ugly, so nobody wants to marry me.

As David Goggins once said, nobody is coming to save me.

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