1st day of winter

It isn’t really that cold for the first day of winter in Brisbane. I am only wearing a shirt and pants. Yesterday was colder, I was wearing a jumper all day, except when I went to sleep. Funny weather. Our weather is almost as bad as Longreach weather. In Longreach, the summers are hot like 40 degrees Celsius hot and you don’t get any relief at night. But in the winter, the day time temperatures are like 28 degrees and at night, it goes below 4 degrees. That’s pretty cold at night. Brisbane is much more temperate.

I got invited to play tennis with my cousin. I look forward to it. I don’t think I stink too much. I have urinary dribble, probably because I’m just too fat. So it makes my pants stink after 2 days of wearing them.

It is socially embarrassing when I stink at english conversation group, where there are a lot of women. It is worse when I stink on the bus, as the other passengers can’t run away from my stench, until they get off at the next stop. Such is my sloppiness of dress, which is a symptom of my schizophrenia.

I make sure I always take my medication. I don’t want to fully let myself go. Because if I stink, I make people nauseous. I apologize to all the people I’ve stunk out before.

I wish there was a vocational purpose to my life. But I think my purpose is to repent, as St Isaac the Syrian says, ‘This life has been given to you for repentance. Do not waste it in vain pursuits.’ I sure wish I had more contact with Jesus.

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