5 days before my next depot

It is a cool night. I feel cold and alone in my soul. I went out to the library today. Apart from that, I played computer games most of the time. I had pizza slices at a kebab place near the library for lunch today.

There is so much luxury food items in today’s shopping malls. The book I was reading today called ‘Unseen Warfare’ was written in a time when it was hard to get luxuries. So I can not imagine living without coffee, sugar, chocolate, computer games, and coffee milk! I need them to lift up my emotions a little.

I am not ascetic. I try self-denial in the form of not correcting others harshly. I know what it is like to be corrected and rebuked. It is not a pleasant experience. Therefore, I attempt to be nice to everybody I know.

My mom’s friend said that 95% of what we said we’ve said before and only 5% of what we say is new information. I am full of repetitive garbage. As me and dad were coming home from Coles at night, I related to him information I learnt from YouTube about a homeless woman in Japan. I also said this same information to my support worker a day earlier.

I wish I was an original content creator. I mean, at least creative in my thoughts. But most of my blog, and what I say, is recycled information. It would be worse if I wasn’t on medication, as I wouldn’t be able to focus and stay on topic, but would jump around everywhere in my topics of conversation. I wouldn’t say anything relevant. Such is the severity of my sickness.

I was playing Borderlands 2 just now. I was trying to come across Eridium in the game. It is used for character upgrades. I am glad for the luxury of computer games. I am glad I have money to buy food and pay bills. Even though I am cold and lonely, and my life feels empty, life is good.

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