The best times in my life were the periods of happiness, joy and bliss I’d get before my next breakdown. The time preceding the breakdown was most likely a period of mania, as my disorder is schizoaffective disorder, which has a bipolar element to it.
This remix takes me back to late 2016 early 2017 period before my most severe breakdown in winter 2017. I wasn’t even off my meds. I was taking a moderate dose of medication. Even that wasn’t enough for me. I was taking 6mg paliperidone. The max legal dose a psychiatrist can prescribe is 12mg. So it wasn’t a low dose. Yet I had a severe breakdown in 2017.
But before that, I was listening to K-pop, as in the female artists. Their music and melodies were enchanting. They made me feel like I was actually desired by the female gender.
Alas, hit winter 2017, snap back to reality! But the manic period on 6mg paliperidone was fun while it lasted.
I was often going out with my female friend to the Gold Coast. I would take the Train there to see her at a local shopping mall. I was listening a lot to K-pop by various artists: Girls Generation, Jewelry, 2ne1, etc. Life seemed good while I was manic.
But I really regret trying to make friends with females, as I could not be a good boyfriend. I never really worked. I was always bludging off the government welfare system. Now, I’m trying to overcome my sins and work on acquiring humility.
God bless you all.
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