Today, a Chinese lady asked me where the post office was at garden city. I sort of lost my ability to speak English properly, so I just said ‘if you go over there, you can find something to direct you,’ when I should of said ‘if you walk 30m in that direction, you can find a store directory.’ I completely forgot the world for store directory!
I was walking on the left side of the shopping mall corridor going back to the car, and an Asian girl came out from the toilet. I had to stop and apologize for taking up space, and she walked around me. I felt so embarrassed!
I’m not used to dealing with people, even really cute ones, because I have no self esteem. All I do is take my medication, do what I got to do that day, then go home and play video games. Meeting new people is really difficult for me!
Having autism spectrum disorder doesn’t help, as I would forget how to say basic English words that I hadn’t used for a while. My autism doesn’t give me much freedom to plan what I’m going to say in a short amount of time.
I do not think I will grow more confident and free thinking. My mind is very closed, and I’m only used to people I know quite well. I don’t make new friends easily!
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