Diary entries 5/5/21 to 13/5/21

I am a sub-five human, so as far as everybody else is concerned, I have never had a girlfriend. It’s better that way.


The Russian Orthodox Church gave me 2 things; my mum and my doctor. So I shouldn’t leave the church just yet.

Life is a struggle now. When I was manic before my first psychotic episode in 2006, life was beautiful. Now, everything is a struggle. Just waking up in the morning is a struggle. Now, I am dishonoured, rather than praised. May life get better.


I managed to stand up for 36 minutes doing gentle stretches and qi gong on a 3 shot cup of coffee. My mom said to me on the 4th of may ‘May the forth be with you.’ That was a funny joke.

I wish I could play borderlands 1 again. I dislike Borderlands 2.


I had my depot and flu vax a week ago. I will get my covid vaccine out of obedience to the civil authorities. I’m neither anti-vax nor Orthodox. I’m in the process of leaving the Orthodox church. The priests don’t have a high regard for me.

If the Orthodox anti vax conspiracy theories are true, then I have the humility to die. My life is consuming too many resources without giving anything back to the state.

Maybe the demons will be coming for my soul. At least God gave me periods of rest during my life. Glory to God.


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