This is me playing the piano very poorly. The circuits in my brain have been corroded by overmedicating. I sincerely wish that nobody would have to take anti-psychotics long term. Anti-depressants may be ok for a few years, but then a person should get back on their feet and live their life. I haven’t taken drugs, alcohol or cigarettes, but yet I caught schizoaffective disorder at 16 years old. Something must of gone very wrong with my thinking.
Schizoaffective disorder means schizophrenia with a mood component. Or otherwise known as half schizophrenia, half bipolar mood disorder. The best of both worlds. So it is a nightmare to have, and sometimes, I try to loosen up, with disastrous consequences. Basically, when you are in the ‘schizo’ classification of disorders, you can not be yourself around anybody, unless you want to make a fool of yourself or be reported to the police. You always got to think before you speak. It is a huge cross.
Oh well, maybe reincarnation is true and I will get a better rebirth in the next life. But I’m not certain about Buddhist theology. I believe in this life, then heaven or hell.