As it says in the Psalms, ‘Be still, and know that I, am God.’ In the book titled, ‘Unseen Warfare,’ it says Jesus is always beside us, especially when we call out to Him with eyes of faith. It is very difficult not to despair when we have mental illness.
You are not your mistakes. You are not the negative experiences that happened in your past. Life is a dream. The bad things that happened to you in your childhood are not real. Try not to identify with your traumas. Nothing is real, except God.
God is the kindest thing that exists. God looks upon you with exceedingly great love and compassion. God will continue having mercy upon you, even in sheol. God loves you even beyond death.
What we experience in the next life is the sum total of anger and resentment we have in our hearts. As we forgive, so are we forgiven. But remember, the evil that the world does to you actually doesn’t exist. It is all just a dream that you wake up from in eternity.