The day I walked away

1 Samuel 16:14: ‘And the spirit of the Lord left Saul, and was replaced by an unclean spirit.’ This verse very much resonates in my life, and the life in so many mentally ill Christians who feel abandoned by God. But the reality is, Saul walked away from God, God did not walk away from Saul.

As I walked away from God in 2006, I remember me becoming the habitation of demonic spirits and unclean passions that have gnawed at my soul until this day. As I get more self-actualized, I realise it wasn’t God who walked away from me. I walked away from God.

We don’t have to be apologetic or look at scripture verses to see whether we are going to hell or not. Just ask yourself the question ‘do I bear hatred or resentment towards anybody in my life?’ If the answer is ‘yes’, you will certainly be in hell in the next life. As I have failed to forgive, so God will not forgive me. This is the fire that never is quenched, and the worm that does not sleep. God help me.


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