A beautiful landscape

I found this image on google image search. I personally, find it refreshing and beautiful. Picturesque, more accurately.

I wonder how all your lives are going? Thank you for all those who like my blog posts.

Any tips on how I can make money?

God bless all of you!

My destructive blog

Sometimes I have good days. Usually I have bad days. I know this doesn’t sound like much, but it does impact the way I write on my blog.

Sometimes I’m magnanimous, sometimes I’m vainglorious. I really should be trying to keep myself to myself. I do so, especially when I am out. I feel particularly unsafe on public transport. I’m sure the drivers feel that way, too.

I have not much to say on humility. Nearly all people can not implement the writings of the desert fathers onto their lives. Most people do not want to be Saints. Those that do, do not know how to be, nor can they be.

To be a Saint just involves being kind and courteous in all situations, including the ones where we are tired or stretched beyond our limit. That’s why I can not put in too many hours at my psycho-social rehabilitation facility, as the mentally ill people there often grind my gears.

If you want to give up in life, have some humility and seek treatment from the mental health system. This is not the initial piece of advice I’d give, but it is only used when the person is so severely ill that nothing can get him or her out of that depressive cycle.

I really hope the suicide rate in all countries goes down. Through the prayers of the blessed virgin, Amen.

Writing at midnight

This is my attempt at exercise a couple of nights back, when I weighed 122.2kg. When I stepped on the scales tonight, I weighed 122.5kg. Fancy that. Weight never goes down. At least it isn’t rapidly increasing.

I need the extra meds because I am so unstable in my life. I can not cope, not with the loss of grandma and some of her cats. It puts a terrible strain on me, and reminds me that my own parents will most likely go before me.

I will really miss my parents if they go before me. I hope they make it to heaven. It feels lonely here, as they are celebrating their 44th wedding anniversary somewhere nearby. But I bless them.

I hope grandma is in heaven.

Actually, my sore throat wasn’t so bad

My sore throat only lasted from Sunday 22/01/23 to Monday 23/01/23. Apparently my last bout with sickness was about 4 months ago. I guess I get sick 3 times a year.

Well, God is merciful. He only works with what I’ve got. I haven’t healed my body, much less my mind, which is constantly suffering from psychosis, which is masked by my medication.

I suffer from schizoaffective disorder and autism, for those of you new to my channel. Schizoaffective disorder basically means half bipolar half schizophrenia. Autism sort of means socially retarded and awkward.

I don’t act all socially retarded now, as my experiences in life have had a limited humbling effect on me.

My paypal is:

paypal.me/iakovoskriegor

if anybody wants to support me.

I really hope nobody takes offense at this blog

This is my recent mild contribution to the internet.

I try to do some qi gong, hoping it would be inspiration to friends on my social media accounts.

I try to have positive self-esteem. But I get hypersensitive when I am scolded or criticised harshly.

I am still a little hollow on the inside, even though I take many vitamins.

It is about 12am midnight. I have insomnia, even though I’ve taken extra meds.

Goodnight all.

My spirituality

I probably will try not to waste anybody’s time, most importantly not my own. It means I will be patient, but not idle the time away. As many people can do a lot better than me in reality, especially vocationally, I will try not to inconvenience anybody.

My spirituality is humility. I choose to accept insults, rather than get angry with them. Why stand up to them? I am weak and frail.

I try to accept the memories that have plagued my mind everyday. I did a bit of introspection today. I was such a socially maladjusted person when I was young. That’s why I needed a lot of medication.

I tried to be tough when I’m actually not. I tried to be brave. I tried to get people to convert to Christianity, with no success. Now I’m a used up old man. God, have mercy on me.

A humble narcissism?

This icon is either of Jesus without His traditional cross surrounding His head, or some other Saint, prostrate in humility before God. Perhaps it is Jesus saying ‘Please, Father, take this cup from me, but not as I will, but as You will.’

You are correct. Due to other posts on my blog, I am not humble. I sometimes lash out. Sometimes I have bad days. I’m not as enlightened as mindfulness gurus such as Sadguru and Eckhart Tolle.

But I try to admire my efforts. My friend said to me recently ‘I am going towards 40, and life has not turned out the way I wanted it to.’ I replied to him, ‘Just because you are single, doesn’t mean you are of no value. Think of your good deeds, how precious they are to God. Our life is more than the money in our bank account, or the beauty of our wives, but it is about how much good we did to others. This is what we will be evaluated on at the last day.’

I currently have a sore throat, so I am quite grumpy. I’m trying to cope with it. Because I believe, if we endure sickness in life, we will not be spiritually sick in the next.

Let us suffer whatever comes from God with all humility, so we can cry out at the judgement throne ‘Lord! have mercy!’

Jerry the cat

This is one of my cats. We have 6 cats left. 3 have already died. 3 which I got from my grandma’s house when she reposed. May she rest in peace.

This is a very beautiful cat. When we got her from my grandma’s house, she needed eye surgery and tummy surgery to remove a big cyst on her abdomen.

I’m glad she is still alive. She has a heart murmur. I hope she lives many years.

Everything was silent…

Well, not everything is silent tonight. My parents are entertaining themselves by watching the TV.

It is the night before my depot injection of anti-psychotic. I look forward to receiving a boost of anti-psychotic to treat my schizoaffective disorder.

I also bought extra meds from the late-night pharmacy because I wanted a little extra help getting to sleep. The meds provide some sedative effect.

I wouldn’t recommend anybody to go on anti-depressants or anti-psychotics. You become dependent on them. But, only take them if you are a danger to yourself or others, and you have exhausted all other options.

But, I recommend to my friends that they learn humility. Simple humility is the patient acceptance of what life offers us, health or sickness, wealth or poverty, honours or dishonours; knowing everything comes from God. He wouldn’t allow such things to come upon you if it weren’t for your eternal benefit.

Life is tough, I know. Some people breeze through life. Others, like me, struggle.

I do try to bless the Holy Trinity, but I do learn mindfulness, so that I can forgive the memories of the traumas I’ve received.

Forgiveness is a continual process. It involves accepting what happened in the past, and blessing the situation and person who dishonoured you.

Hope this helps. God bless you all.

My paypal link is:

paypal.me/iakovoskriegor

If anybody wants to help me

Tai Chi 2 days before my depot

I looked on the news about a model from Sweden who was tired of men hitting on her at the gym. It said it was because she was ‘too hot.’ I guess I have a long way to go in the attractiveness department, even though I have delusions that I am the perfect guy.

Life teaches me humility, as I often am not shown respect because of the severity of my many disabilities. So I am basically a doormat. I’m not good at setting boundaries.

God bless you all.